Original found at: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/12/14/9-things-you-need-to-chill-out-about/
9 Things You Need to Chill Out About
1. The few things that aren’t going right. – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have. I took some time to do that last week. Since I've been working so hard to build up my savings, my first instinct is to complain when I spend $150+ on Urgent Care and muscles relaxers because my back spasmed and $100+ on a new tire since my flat cannot be repaired. Then I think about those I know who lost an IVF pregnancy—Creating Motherhood—, who found out her mother has cancer—True Confessions of a Single Mama—, who lost her grandmother —Confessions of a Pioneer Woman— and I think I'll keep my "problems" which no longer seem that bad after all.
2. Trying to label everyone and everything. – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them. This unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up your freewill or waving the white flag – that’s quitting. Instead, it means you’re willing to let go of who you think people should be and how you think things are supposed to be, so you can fall in love with who they truly are and how life really is. People don’t need to fit in neat little boxes. If God had wanted us to all be alike, He would have made us that way.
3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks. – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom. In fact, you can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want. You have to put your life in your own hands. Others may be able stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently. I so wish that I could quit worrying about what everyone thinks of me. I want to. I want to be the person who says, “If I can look myself in the mirror—both the physical mirror and the mirror of the Bible-- and be proud of who I am as a person and as God’s Beloved Child—who cares what others think of me?” I’m not there yet. Blogging helps with that. No one may read this blog, but I’m putting myself out there knowing that many won’t agree with me but saying, “I don’t care; I’m going to be real.”
4. Wasting time on the wrong people. – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. The rest is up to them. No matter how much you care some people just won’t care back. It’s not the end of the world. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does. This ties in with #3. I need to accept that those I want to care just may not and that is okay.
5. Old wounds and grudges. – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions. Because nothing empowers your ability to heal and grow as much as your love and forgiveness. I usually feel that I have let most things go. Every so often, though, one will raise its ugly head and surprise me because I thought it was forgiven and forgotten. And I have to deal with it again, because I don’t want to be the kind of person who forever lives in bitterness over the past. It isn’t healthy, physically or mentally.
6. Superficial judgments. – We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them attractive. Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it. The more you mature, the more you will be able to look beyond another person’s appearance and see the beauty of who they really are. As much as I want to leave my leagalistic background in the past where it belongs, I still find myself judging. Sometimes I still judge who I used to find wanting. Sometimes I judge those who are where I used to be. I hate that.
7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control. – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless lovable moments you spent together. If you’re angry at someone you love, hug them and mean it. You may not want to hug them, which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows that they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other. Aaggh! I am the worst about taking things to the extreme. This is some good advice here. Even if you aren’t feeling it, start as you mean to continue, showing that person love. It’s going to help you let go of it a lot sooner too!
8. Showing a lack of self-respect. – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Be your own best friend. Trust your inner spirit and follow your instincts. Be the person you will be happy to live with for the duration of your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of passion and possibility into a blaze of victories. Again, I’m a child of the King and He loves me no matter what! Sometimes I don’t feel that way; I feel like He forgot about me—where’s my husband and children? Anybody to love me who isn’t family so they have to love me? I have to grow to be someone that I can live with and if that means being alone, that needs to be okay.
9. Thinking that now is the wrong time. – This isn’t the wrong time and place, because you can make it the right time and place. Today is the first day of a new beginning – the conception of a new life. The next nine months are all yours. You can do with them as you please. Make them count. Because a new person is born in nine months. The only question is: Who do you want that person to be? Kind of ironic, don’t you think for this to be the metaphor that they used? But I can assure you, today won’t be the first day of conception of new life for me! But maybe someday, sooner than I think, it won’t be the wrong time literal conception any more than today is for a metaphorical one.
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