Well, I suppose I should put blogging down as another thing
that I am not that good at considering that January was my last post!
In other news, graduating, I did that! Quite a relief. And
passing my test to be certified, I did that too! So progress has been made on
my goals/dreams. I also forced myself to step outside my comfort zone and
request a raise due to my newly graduated status. I truly did not expect
anything to come of it, but I knew that I owed it to myself to ask. I was both
somewhat right and somewhat wrong. I did not get a raise based on my graduation
but I was given 50 percent of another employees duties and got a raise
associated with that. Sadly, not enough that I can stop my second job. Oh, and
I don’t think I had mentioned I have a third job now, too. It pays my student
loans and a bit that often comes in handy when I have overspent.
So, two goals down. Barn? Well, I think I have moved up the
timing in a way. I totaled my car earlier this year after working a 70+ hour
week. I put part of the payout on my house/credit card loan so I shortened the
time to when I can get another loan for the barn. Of course, now instead of
having my car paid off in April 2016, I’ll be paying on the new one for another
two years.
Baby? Some days I’m pretty sure
that is just never going to happen. My 3rd out of 3 girl cousins
just announced she also got pregnant while on birth control. Apparently we’re
very fertile (or can’t follow directions?). But fertile genes still can’t
overcome my male factor infertility. Pretty sure the only way I’ll ever have a
child at this point is if $100,000 drops into my lap. Enough to pay for a
double-donor program and some years of expenses since I can’t seem to scrape
together enough—even with three jobs—to raise a child and, of course, I could
not work three jobs while doing so. Which makes the fact that my pregnant
cousin is somehow going to manage that working fast food and living in her
boyfriend’s parent’s basement like a punch in the gut to me. Why does it seem
that those who most want children can’t have them and those that don’t/aren’t
ready for them get pregnant by accident?
Is it time for a different, more
attainable goal? A masters, maybe? Sigh. And yet, I am thankful that I have the
opportunity to get an education. I know so many who don’t. Of course, they also
have a partner and can reproduce without needing $100,000. . .
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